I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
