Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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