he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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