Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
