On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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