Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
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