the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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