So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
