the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
