My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
birth control should be required to get into college
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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