If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I am spending my child support on dildos
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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