Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I pour the whiskey from now on
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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