I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
