question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
