I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Farmville is her only friend.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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