Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
