hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
