I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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