I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
