Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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