I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize