butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
