porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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