I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
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