I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
