So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
