Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize
