Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
