My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
This girl is more easily done than said...
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
