that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
