I need help removing her.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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