She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
