I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
