Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
