We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
In other news, I just burned my penis
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
