Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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