Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Randomize
