Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
