you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
