What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
