i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
dude. I can hear the air.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
