I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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