Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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