You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
