we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
