Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
