How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
