I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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