Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
