Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
