With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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