I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
