Kiss
Puke
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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