Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
