I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize