my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize