Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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