Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
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