wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
