the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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