Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
