Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
